How Your Speech Reveals Your Attachment Style: the Adult Attachment Interview

The Adult Attachment Interview and attachment strategies

This course explores how the Adult Attachment Interview (AAI) reveals attachment styles by analyzing an individual's use of language, not the content of their childhood experiences.

Memory Systems and the AAI

• Episodic Memory: Recalling specific events (like a movie playing in your mind).

• Semantic Memory: Knowing the meaning of something (e.g., recognizing a blue jay by sound).

• The AAI: Uses open-ended questions to probe both memory systems. It also includes "demand" and "request" questions, such as "tell me about..." vs. "why do you think this happened?".

Secure Attachment

• Individuals feel comfortable expressing emotions and are independent yet interdependent.

• AAI Characteristics:

  • High coherence (clear, concise stories).

  • Metacognition (self-monitoring of speech).

  • Value attachment and relationships.

  • Forgiveness and compassion.

  • Sense of a strong self.

  • Interviews feel lively and collaborative.

Insecure Strategies (Avoidant, Dismissive, Preoccupied, Disorganized)

These are defense mechanisms developed in response to inconsistent or insensitive caregivers.

Disorganized Attachment

• Characterized by conflicting behaviors and unresolved caregiver trauma.

• In the AAI, this might show up as a mix of strategies within the same interview.

Common Themes Across Insecure Strategies

• Mismatch between Episodic and Semantic Memory: Disorganized speech patterns and contradictions.

• Passive Voice and Psychobabble: Preoccupied speakers may ramble using technical terms vaguely.

• Idealization and Lack of Recall: Dismissive speakers may idealize caregivers and have memory lapses.

• Derogation and Anger: Dismissive speakers may downplay difficulties and express cold anger.

• Focus on Material Goods: Dismissive speakers may prioritize material aspects of their upbringing.

• Unresolved Loss and Confusion: Preoccupied speakers may struggle with past unfinished emotional business and show confusion.

• Blaming and Lack of Forgiveness: Preoccupied speakers may hold onto blame and display hot anger.

• Long-winded and Unmonitored Passages: Preoccupied speakers may ramble without self-monitoring.

• Unlicensed Violations of Grice's Maxims: Insecure speakers may violate rules of clear communication unintentionally.

Grice's Maxims and Coherence

• Grice's Maxims are principles of effective communication: quality (truthfulness), quantity (completeness), relevance (on-topic), and manner (clearness).

• Secure speakers follow these maxims intuitively, leading to coherent narratives.

• Insecure speakers have more violations, leading to incoherence.

Scoring the AAI

• Coherence (1-9 scale): Secure speakers score high (7-9), insecure speakers score lower (disorganized: 1-3, preoccupied: 3-4, dismissive: 3-5).

• Focus is on underlying attachment state based on speech patterns, not childhood content.

AAI vs. Self-Report Measures

• Self-report measures (questionnaires) rely on one memory system (semantic) and personal bias.

• The AAI is more objective and captures inconsistencies in language use that reveal attachment styles.

• Secure speakers tend to be more accurate in self-reporting due to higher coherence and metacognition.

• Insecure speakers may misreport due to blind spots and incoherence.

Conclusion

The AAI is a valuable tool for understanding attachment styles by analyzing how individuals use language to describe their experiences. This approach provides a more accurate picture of attachment than self-report measures.